Being A Dog Mum
You know growing up I never saw myself as a dog mum. Like, it never even crossed my mind. I always thought I would get married at 28, have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, and well that's all I really saw. Because I never had dogs growing up, I imagined myself maybe having a cat but never a dog.
But then life happens
And it throws you curve balls.
I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis at the age of 21 in 2011, just 4 months after becoming engaged. I managed to get myself into remission after 3 months however then suffered my first ever flare in March 2014 lasting 2-3 years. This forced me to reduce my work to part time and is the story of how Amos came along which you can read about here.
But what does this have to being a dog mum
This is a hard blog to write but its been on my mind lately and I thought Mother's Day was a perfect time to share it and get my thoughts down on paper.
Well the internet! For everyone to read.
I always thought I would be a mum. I am not being modest, but I know I would be a good mum too. I get told it a lot and I truly believe I would be amazing at it. Anything that I knuckle down and put my mind to I do.
But when your body takes a big hit like mine has these past few years, you really question things. I mean I was sick, really sick and I didn't really understand that until later. I guess I tried not to think about how close I was to potential death.
I had 1L of fluid surrounding my heart. It needed urgent drainage when they discovered it.
I am so lucky.
So back to kids. I am currently on medications that I am unable to be on to fall pregnant. I am also not in a physically fit state to carry a child for 9 months and then be expected to be a mum and carry out typical mum duties. Honestly, it all fits into the “it’s too hard to think about right now” basket.
In this current state, my desire to have a child would be selfish.
And I don't want that.
We all get dealt our cards. Plus I am a Women's Health Physiotherapist specialising in Pelvic Floor dysfunction, so I know way too much. Ladies who have had babies, you totally get me!
I admire women who become mums. A mum to a human that is. Carrying around a child for 9months and then bringing that beautiful baby into the world and then experiencing life with them. That sure is beautiful and special.
But just because I haven’t done that doesn’t mean I am not a mum. Because I am a mum. I am a mum to the most amazing dog I have ever met and I can’t believe it. How was he even a rescue?!
I didn't even have to birth him! How lucky am I! I still can't believe I got so lucky. I am Amos's mum and I treasure that.
Sadly, I didn't get to watch him grow from a puppy into the gorgeous boy he is now however I have changed his life by adopting him.
I have to watch over him like a child and make sure he survives as he is totally reliant on me. I remember when we first adopted him, I had no idea how to feed him, train him or do anything. How on earth was I going to keep this dog alive.
What do I do if he barks at me?
What if he steals all my stuff?
What if he eats all my stuff?
What if he gets sick?
How do I train a dog?
I don't know how but but we did it. And we still do it.
Amos has filled my “mum” void. I feel like my desire to be a mum has completely been fulfilled with Amos. I never thought that it would actually and I always thought I would still crave it. But I don’t. I mean parts of me do, but I can’t go there right now and I don’t know if I want to.
I know I treat him like my child but he is my child and I think that's ok. Because I don't actually know if I will ever have a human child. I just don't know. A lot would have to change for me to even think about having a child and I don't think some of those things will change.
My mind goes up and down.
Amos fills me with so much joy and he makes me unbelievably happy.
I sure hope he knows that.
He is my little buddy and we spend so much time together.
When I am not feeling great he is right beside me - snuggling or chewing and then off we go on all our incredible adventures. Even if that adventure is only to our garden. Life is one great adventure and I am blessed to share Amos’s adventure.
Can I just adopt all the dogs and be a dog mum??!!!
But this has also opened my eyes to adopting a child which before adopting Amos is something I never would have considered. I have given Amos a life that he never could have imagined and now he has everything that he could possibly ever want and more.
If I think about what it means to be a dog mum these things come to my mind.
Being a dog mum means:
Sharing your food
Never going to the toilet alone
Never going anywhere alone
Having a permanent cuddle buddy
Feeling bad whenever you leave the house
Always having a dirty house
Being watched 24/7
Having a best friend
And I love every single moment of it.
So I sure hope you enjoyed reading my personal thoughts as it is pretty personal.
Do you ever feel judged for not having children?
And, what does being a dog mum mean to you?
I would so love to know so please leave a comment below!